Since PeopleCare Health Services provides care to a significant number of people that have unique needs/challenges, this reminder from a friend is worth sharing and deserving of a few minutes to be read.
Scot Sustad · Vancouver, BC, Canada
I’m a bit torn up.
My friend Eric and I have lunch together every couple of weeks. We met about 3 years ago in a Subway restaurant one random afternoon.
Eric battles mental illness and can be somewhat unpredictable with loud shouts and hand gestures. He’s adamant about handing out his business cards, two at a time, and introducing himself to a few with a set of questions (a couple that are somewhat invasive, if he gets that far ; ), like “How much do you make in salary a year?”). I’ve become accustomed to these unique idiosyncrasies over time and I fully understand how startling it can be to interact with someone who doesn’t fit the social norms.
Each time we’re together I quietly observe how strangers interact with Eric. Some interactions are absolutely beautiful, full of love, dignity, and genuine care. Other times I’m shocked by how abrasive and downright mean some people are.
Today, we visited Panago Pizza as usual. There was an abnormally long line with 8 people grabbing a slice. My heart broke and raged as I watched Eric try to interact with several of them. One after the other brushed him off or completely dismissed him. A couple people were nearly confrontational. I did my best to help navigate and diffuse the situation, but the general sentiment toward me is also interesting. It’s often like, “Hey Pal, take care of this please, this guy is bothering me” and today was no exception.
The thing about Eric, is that when he feels rejected, he gets somewhat insecure and tries even harder to connect.
5 minutes in, I was sweating with anxiety about the situation. It was tense. Finally, we got his pizza and were able to sit down. 20 minutes later, the restaurant was almost empty. As he stepped outside, I noticed small stacks of his cards scattered around the small restaurant. The analogy of the way these cards were left behind was all too clear.
I have no idea what was going on in all of these people’s lives. Perhaps they were having a tough day – and we can’t “be on” all the time. Having boundaries is healthy and can be done with great respect as well. But watching one person after the next treat him like a leper was too much today.
I’m pleading with you friends, can we make a mental commitment to do our best to treat all people, but especially those who don’t fit the social norms, with love and dignity. A smile, a small conversation, a question, an answer, or a hug, – can completely change Eric’s and most people’s day.
The way we treat the marginalized as a society says so much about our collective soul. #vancouver
HUGE shout out to Waves Coffee House at Broadway and Spruce and Panago Pizza at Broadway and Hemlock for welcoming me and Eric every time!
