Ever hear the phrase, “Say what you mean and mean what you say”? It is simple advice and if practiced in all our daily interactions and communications, it can be incredibly effective in reducing misunderstandings, building trust and creating personal integrity. Take for instance, a recent encounter with a client and caregiver that had only been paired together for a couple of weeks but, privately had each expressed doubts about whether they could continue. After individual discussion with both parties, it was clear that it was a simple case of each of them not being honest about their feelings, concerns or needs — not saying what they really needed to say to ensure open and honest communication. Soon, attitudes and body language began to reveal that something else was going on but, when one asked if there was a problem, the other person said denied it, saying no, which was not true and just lead to increased feelings of frustration and mistrust. We’ve all been there, right? You know something is bugging the other person but they won’t tell you what it is and continue with non-verbal communication like sarcasm, eye-rolling, flat attitude and all of those behaviors just add to the tension. Had these two people been honest and upfront from the beginning, their understanding and appreciation for what the other person needed and wanted, would have been addressed and handled. Boom! Done! But, instead, it drug out over several weeks and created issues for them and ultimately, required the care coordinator to facilitate a discussion…..kind of like marriage counseling. The good news is, these two people were able to talk it out, recognize how they each contributed to the problem and agreed that going forward, they would “Say what they meant (respectfully) and mean it” so the other person could trust that they were being honest. Next time you are in that situation, think of the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
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