The author and spiritual guru, Deepok Chopra explains that expectations are an attempt to control the future. An expectation says, “I won’t be happy unless ‘X’ happens…” and when ‘X” doesn’t happen, we don’t understand that, perhaps at the root of our unhappiness might be unrealistic expectations that we created.
Recently, I planned an extremely busy day, scheduling back to back appointments and the completion of a project. I began the day focused on getting it all done and meeting my goals. Imagine my frustration when I spilled coffee on my shirt right before I left the house and had to change my clothes (putting me “behind schedule”). Later that morning, I got two unexpected, but important, phone calls that took considerable time to complete. By then, I was feeling the pressure of the deadlines and getting more anxious because my day wasn’t going the way I planned. To top it off, I hit road construction on my way home and was late for an appointment.
These unexpected events “ruined” my day and I was one crabby person when I got home. Later that evening, after a nice dinner and a glass of wine, I began to think about why the day was so difficult and I slowly began to realize that it was all in how I had set it up in my mind (and in my calendar). I had to acknowledge that I had contributed to the situation by over booking myself and not allowing for even a little flexibility.
So, like any good “Google person,” I researched it and found the following pearls of wisdom:
- Managing expectations takes personal insight and practice
- Develop a sense of openness to letting things flow
- Create life balance so the ups-and-downs are easier to navigate
- Accept that we are not “masters of our universe” and unexpected things, or situations, happen
- Take responsibility, and control, of your actions and reactions
- Don’t take it personally. The universe, your family, or co-workers are not out to get you
- Take the high road and assume that everyone does their best and means well
- Laugh at yourself and with others
Remember, when high expectations rule our lives, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Then we judge ourselves, or others, harshly and let our emotions take over. It’s all about managing expectations.
