Have you wondered what classifies someone as an adversary, ally, foe or friend? Are your relationships with others conditional or unconditional? Do you have realistic expectations of those in your family, social circles and work groups that you encounter?
Adversaries are always against you and your best interest. Although it can feel that we have more adversaries than friends some days, the truth is that if we really look at who we perceive to be our adversaries, they are not always against us. Adversaries are truly rare and are unconditional relationships. Nothing you will do or not do will change the adversaries view of you or the outcome of their actions. A true enemy is always an enemy.
Allies and foes are virtually one in the same. Allies, while they might appear as friends, are not. They will work hard toward another person’s interest as long as it also serves their own, giving the appearance of being a trusted confidant. Once these shared goals are out of alignment, it can often seem that a close ally is now an adversary or a once trusted friend is now an adversary. Foes while once viewed as our adversaries, simply had other goals and therefore were working against us in a common struggle but are not an adversary, meaning they are not always against us. Once the struggle is resolved, they can very quickly change into an ally. Allies and foes are conditional relationships and they change based upon the circumstances. Both of these relationships are often misleading in that they have a heightened emotional component to them which can cause them to become intense and more powerful than they should.
Friends, like adversaries are rare. Friends, always have your best interest at heart regardless of their own well-being or circumstances. This relationship, just like adversaries are unconditional and almost nothing you do will change the relationship.
If you look at your relationships, you might be surprised that the vast majority of them will fall into conditional relationships made up of allies and foes not adversaries and friends. By reconsidering the categories you have placed your relationships in, as well as, analyzing yourself and how you are perceived and received by others, expectations and communication can grow without the intense emotion that can arise out of the misalignment.
People are genuinely good but may not have the same motivations or intentions that you have. Communication is never easy and life and people can get messy. Take the time to listen, understand, and contemplate others instead of be reactionary. Kind words are too often replaced by criticism and anger. At the end of the day, when you are alone and look over your thoughts, words, actions and deeds-do they make you proud or should you have handled them another way? The good news is that each day is a new start–, so make tomorrow count
